Because of some things that came up in the last few days, I was feeling hurt and lonely. It felt like no one cared about me and what I was struggling with. I was asking the Lord, "Why is it so hard to let Your love be enough?"
It is so easy for me to focus on seeking the approval of other people rather than being content with Jesus' love. Sometimes it is hard for me to grasp how much Jesus really loves me. That is something God has been talking to me about. And to show me how much He loves me, God has been pointing me to the cross.
If no one else understands my pain, Jesus does. Last night, I started reading in Luke with Jesus' prayer in Gethsemane. All alone, forgotten even by his closest disciples as they slept, Jesus said, "Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done." (Luke 22:42) Luke said Jesus was "in agony." He didn't want to go through the ordeal ahead of Him. He knew what was coming. But in spite of the agony, He chose the Father's will--redemption of lost mankind.
Redemption for me--for you.

I read on through Jesus' arrest and trial. He was the Son of God, yet He allowed Himself to be arrested, mocked, beaten, spit on. If anyone had the right to speak up and say, "Look, you can't do this to me," it was Jesus. He had never done any wrong. He allowed His rights to be trampled in the dust--for me. He was hung on a cross--for me. I don't think we can fully understand what all Jesus went through. Being crucified was terrible. Add to that all the sins of all the people in the world from the beginning to the end, and a loving Heavenly Father turning His back in the greatest hour of need, and you have a crushing load. Jesus could have come down from the cross. He could have said, "It is not worth it to save these miserable humans. Most of them are not even going to accept the sacrifice I am making." He didn't say that. Instead, He said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do." (Luke 23:34). He stayed on the cross and bore the shame and the pain. He stayed on the cross even as He cried out, "My God, My God,why have you forsaken Me?" (Mark 15:34)

Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the thought that if I was the only person on this planet, Jesus would still have found it worth it to die for me. He would have done the same for you. (What I am saying is true for anyone: I am just trying to explain it in a personal way.) You and I are worth so much to Jesus that He came and was hung on a cross and suffered and died
so that we could have a personal relationship with Him. Think about that for a little bit. We are worth Jesus giving His life, not because of anything great we did, but because He made us in His image and because of His great love.
There was darkness and the veil of the temple was torn in two. Because of Jesus, we were given direct access to God.
I would like to share a poem I wrote about the crucifixion for a class more than a year
ago. Because of the form I was working with (in each stanza you
switch up the last words of the six lines in a stanza and have an ending stanza of three lines with all six words in it), this poem was a little challenging to write. This is not a great literary masterpiece, but I think it fits here.
The Crown of Thorns
Jesus hung on a cross
before His mother's eyes,
crowned with thorns.
His people would not own Him King.
He Who was the worlds' Light
for the world would die.
They wanted Him to die
so they hung Him on a cross--
they could not see the light.
In the woman's eyes
this man was her King.
Yet His crown was of thorns!
What a crown of thorns!
For His people He would die.
Soldiers mocked the King.
Jesus hung on the cross,
forgiveness in His eyes
shining like a light.
In the dimming light,
heart pierced as with thorns,
tears overflowed Mary's eyes.
Why must He die?
Why on a cross?
Was He not the King?
The dying of the King
caused the vanishing of the light,
as if to hide the cross
and the crown of thorns.
Knowing He would die,
the King lifted His eyes.
Jesus lifted His eyes.
The suffering King
looked upward to die
in the absence of light.
He still wore the thorns,
but the end was not the cross.
The cross riveted Mary's eyes.
The crown of thorns upon the King
seemed enveloped in light as He died.
It would have been tragic if the story ended with Jesus' death. Jesus gave His life for us. Sin could be defeated, but what happens after that? Thankfully,
Jesus rose again! And because He rose, we can live a new life.
I wish I could tell you how exciting this is to me. No matter what others say or do, no matter what trials we go through,
Jesus is enough! I've heard people say we should love God just because He is God. I've heard people say we should love God just for who He is, not what He does. That is true. But in my mind, Jesus going to the cross is the biggest reason we should love God. It wasn't
just what God
did. What God
did in sending Jesus was a result of Who God
is. God
is loving. God
is good. Because of Jesus, I was given a chance to have my life completely transformed. It's because of
God's love that
I can love at all.
Like I said, sometimes it is hard for me to grasp just how much I mean to God. But as I have looked at Jesus' death and resurrection, it becomes a little more clear.
Dear Jesus,
Thank You that You are enough. Thank You that I am worth so much to You that You gave Your life for me. Thank You that I can live because You live. Thank You that nothing can separate me from Your love. Help me to remember that You are enough, and to live like it. Thank you Jesus, for life. Amen.